Name That Husband?

23 Mar

I love to read. I sometimes read a novel a day, but the past few weeks I read more and more blogs, and I really love all of the creativity floating around. Recently I’ve noticed that some of my fellow bloggers have the best nicknames for their better (or shall I say other) halves. I read about hubbies who are referred to as “The Captain” or “Mad Dog” or “The Knight“.  Some of the bloggers on dating adventures have been referring to their leading characters as “The Ambassador” or “Captain Amazing” or “The Cowboy“. I feel referring to my other half as “the hubby” just isn’t cutting it.

I mean names are of utmost importance in this world. It’s often the very first thing we are judged by. I took it very seriously when I gave my children their names. For example, my oldest son’s name is Sean Dylan. Sean, after his dad, means “a gift from God” and Dylan means “faithful and true”. How fitting for a first-born son to be a gift from God, faithful and true! Choosing a name is nothing to take lightly.

I'm not sure I want to find myself yelling "Norbit, Rasputia" across the park someday...

Which is why last night I was taken somewhat aback when my oldest son told me he has picked out the names for my grandchildren. Granted, his older sister has done the same, but she chose names like Tabitha and Maverick. I can live with Tabitha and Maverick. I’m looking forward to Tabitha and Maverick. But I’m just hoping my son marries a girl who knows when to step in and take control, other wise it looks like I will be baking cakes for children bearing the names “Norbit” and “Rasputia”.

Would a pink bow help Butthead achieve a more girlish look?

I was still trying to process this information (while tuning out the freckle face snickering) when my younger son piped up and said “I’m naming my kids ‘Beavis and Butthead’.  This really amused my friend, who just had to ask, “Which one’s the girl?” (Because everyone, as we know, has one boy, and one girl!)  Without missing a beat, he replied “Butt-head!”

If I don’t have the kind of daughter-in-laws who know how to wear the pants when its necessary, I guess I will have to take matters into my own hands, because I’ve heard the word Butthead all too often without giving one of our children such a ridiculous moniker. (I give my kids non-ridiculous monikers, like Blondie and Pickles, nothing remotely silly.) Meanwhile, I won’t bother to burst their bubbles. I will let them have their fun and go on believing they will actually be able to name their children with these prized namesakes they obviously cherish.

For now, I will just focus on finding a nickname for my hubby in the bloggosphere. He has several I could choose from. Some of his friends call him Fuzz.  I’m guessing this has something to do with his hair, or lack there of. Or I could call him Chicken. Yep, I’m married to a man some people refer to as Chicken. I guess this is because he once took apart a large box in the body shop he was working at, taped the cardboard to his arms like wings, and danced around doing the funky chicken. He was later rewarded with a free T’shirt and beanie hat from our local franchise, Chicken Express, which  he proudly wears… I said I was married, I never told you he was normal! Or maybe I could choose from one of the online names he’s sported over the years, such as Fuzzlightyear, or FuzzyMavMan, or better yet, back in the chat room days he once called himself Duck Butter. Now Fuzzlightyear was obviously a spin-off of Buzzlightyear, and FuzzyMavMan has to do with his obsession for Mavericks (the cars, not the team), but don’t ask me what Duck Butter is supposed to be, because I don’t know. All I can say is that it’s not as bad as what his mother’s chat name used to be. Imagine logging into a chat-room, seeing a name like “Sweet Meat Eater” and saying to yourself, “look, there’s MOM!”

This bears a remarkable resemblance to him most days!

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10 Responses to “Name That Husband?”

  1. jeandayfriday March 23, 2012 at 2:26 pm #

    It took me a while to decide to call my husband “The Captain” and I did get his approval. Although, I didn’t tell him the exact reasons why I liked the name for him! Lol! :)

  2. Socialkenny March 23, 2012 at 2:51 pm #

    Why don’t I ever get a cute hubby name?

    Big Daddy D would fit me,right?

  3. mynakedbokkie March 23, 2012 at 10:45 pm #

    My knight doesn’t know that is what I refer to him as. His head would grow as big as the moon. Lol. In actual fact he merely knows I have an anonymous blog and not any details about it. It wouldn’t take him long to find them, but I think he realizes that it’s my space. So when I chose my knight I obviously had this picture of him being dressed in shining armour and saving me in my hour of desperate need. Sometimes he is the one who puts me into that desperate need. Lol.
    In real life Tiff, he is my love. Boring actually, but that is what we have called each other since we got together. It hasnt changed. Anything else shows that there is a different set of emotions in my head- that shouldn’t be.
    Choose a name that you you aspire for him to be. The talk might get him all motivated. Lol.

    • Tiffany (lifewithblondie) March 23, 2012 at 11:34 pm #

      In that case, I’m leaning towards Mr. Fix It, because I sure aspire for him to finish all this remodeling he wants to do ourselves! :)

  4. becomingcliche March 24, 2012 at 11:04 am #

    Sometimes they don’t outgrow it. My husband lost baby-naming privileges with the last one when he was holding out for “Little Jerry Seinfeld.”

  5. Cadence Harper March 26, 2012 at 11:07 am #

    I think the key to choosing a moniker is to pick something that encapsulates his personality in one shot. The Ambassador of Ambiguity is my most perfect yet… I feel like the reader immediately gets the impression that he’s sweet & polite (The Ambassador part) but also FOREVER waffling and undecided (The ambiguity part).

    OH & I love “Mad Dog”!! Doesn’t that just conjure up an image of a motorcyle ridin’ leather jacket wearin’ wild man?!!

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