Why Can’t We Be Friends?

3 May

It is becoming painfully obvious that I just don’t get along with the traffic detail of Rockdale PD. Perhaps it’s true that bright red attracts their attention.

I thought this was my car, but I don’t have those flags, or those rims, but I sure would like to have those rims…

This hand-me-down started out belonging to my parents, then my sister drove it for several years and by the time it came my way, it needed a little lovin’. When I first brought it home, the inspection was expired, and I couldn’t renew it because it needed a headlight. A very hard to find headlight, I might add. In the 3 days it took to track one down and get it ordered, I got stopped 4 times. Once I was stopped twice in the same day. Over a sticker…

I don’t think it would bother me so bad except for that we have a “rough side of town” and once I accidentally got lost over there. Not a cop in sight… 3 men ran up to my car and tried to sell me crack, but not one cop car did I see!

It also wouldn’t bother  me if I were getting pulled over by these guys.

Excuse me officer, but isn’t a strip search standard procedure for a speeding ticket?

Especially since my love for them goes way back…

This may indeed be one of the very first “Power Wheels”

And in fairness I should be more alert when it comes to stickers and light bulbs, but come on now, this time when I was pulled over, I kid you NOT, the lady in the car next to me had a toddler jumping up and down in the back seat. Jumping, up and down, isn’t that far more dangerous?? Especially when there are people on the road who are obviously oblivious to their burnt out brake lights?

And tell me this: Why can my husband AND my daughter drive around in the same car and never ever get pulled over? And the one time I drove my husband’s truck, yep, I was stopped for a scratch on the tail light lens that was allowing a minuscule amount of white light to shine through. So minuscule it was hard for me to see it. But he was able to spot it moments after he spotted me at 6am dropping my son off at football practice.

I think I know exactly what I did to deserve this. I beat not one, but two tickets in traffic court. Shocking, I know. The first time I was accused of running a stop sign, which I did not run. I was there long enough to yell at all the kids “You better have your seat-belts on right, there’s  a cop over there!” The judge agreed yelling that while already stopped and waiting to make sure everyone was in compliance was long enough to constitute a full stop.  Then last year, I was stopped for going 55 in a 45. I let the officer know the speed limit was 55. He made note of exactly where he clocked me on the ticket. So, I took a picture of the speed limit sign and noted its exact location. “Oh yes,” said the DA, “the speed limit does go up right when you pass Bandas (Mexican Food Restaurant).” Case dismissed.

I think prevailing in the justice system has hurts somebody’s feelings….

Stopping me nine times, without a single moving violation is starting to irritate me just a little bit. Especially when I spent my entire lunch break paying bills, and had barely enough time to grab a coke at the gas station before getting pulled over. Maybe it’s karma coming back to get me since I went my entire sophomore year of college without tags or an inspection sticker, until my dad swiped my car one day and got it all stickered-up for my first real job! I don’t know how I got away with that, but it sure did give me the false impression that if you’re basically doing all the right things, the world will cut you a little slack. It definitely does not happen like that… There’s a lesson learned the hard way!

The bright side of all this would be that I have learned how to speak up to a cop. Tears no longer instantly burst forth, my hands stopped shaking, my palms don’t get sweaty anymore, and I don’t get that lump you can’t swallow down that once plagued me whenever those blue and red lights started to flash in the rearview. Now, instead of keeping myself from emotional meltdown, I get to practice my anger management skills along with the use of my SNARKY remarks. This time, I managed to point out that my brake light distracted him from the unrestrained child and that a classroom of teenagers was waiting for me while he was busy, for the 9th time, checking to see if the FBI was looking for me. I asked him “Don’t you know where to find me by now? Can I go back to work and leave you to finish this up on your own?” When I suggested he give me a warning, I meant a verbal warning, a “hey fix your tail light before I have to waste 20 minutes writing you up for this.” Come on now, I always give a verbal warning first!

Now, give me your best “I got pulled over” story. I have a few more good ones, but I’m trying to limit my word counts a little more these days!

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20 Responses to “Why Can’t We Be Friends?”

  1. valleygirl96 May 3, 2012 at 9:24 am #

    Oooohh…I have so many stories of being pulled over it’s impossible to pick one! Let me just tell you that you are not alone – I was reading and empathizing because it so mirrors my own experience with the po-po. And, by the way, I agree. Ponch can pull me over any day! I’ll show him my license and registration!

    • Tiffany (lifewithblondie) May 3, 2012 at 9:34 am #

      And sadly I have always been this “good girl”… How do I get myself in so much trouble??

      • valleygirl96 May 3, 2012 at 9:51 am #

        Who knows…trouble always seems to find me, too!

  2. Fiercely Yours May 3, 2012 at 9:26 am #

    Never been pulled over, I’m perfect. Fun post!

  3. jeandayfriday May 3, 2012 at 11:33 am #

    I have been pulled over four different times on the same road. I got a ticket once, a warning twice and a laugh the last time (he was one of my old friend’s fathers). The bad thing is, I should have learned my lesson after getting the ticket, but I didn’t…

    • Tiffany (lifewithblondie) May 3, 2012 at 1:37 pm #

      Well I did learn how to slow my butt down, long ago! I take “lead foot” to a whole new level out on the open roads… but it did me no good to learn how to drive like a grandpa when they just found more reasons to stop me. At this rate I might as well go back to having fun when I drive!

  4. Lorna's Voice May 3, 2012 at 12:29 pm #

    A petite blonde in a big red vehicle…You are a target for law enforcement, Tiffany! They just have to know your story and they’ll make up an infraction just to pull you over.

    I hardly ever drive, so I don’t have much to contribute–thank goodness!

  5. Shonnie May 3, 2012 at 4:59 pm #

    I don’t like my pulled over stories … I like to stuff them somewhere not to be remembered. hahaha …. none are as good as yours though. :D

  6. The Hook May 7, 2012 at 7:21 pm #

    Keep fighting the good fight, Tiffany! Good luck.

  7. curm May 7, 2012 at 7:29 pm #

    When caught speeding I used to tell them my wife was pregnant and I was late. The male cops just chucked and gave me a warning. When I was younger I got tickets for everything. Now they don’t even look at me in my death trap car. Great writing very funny.

    • Tiffany (lifewithblondie) May 7, 2012 at 8:48 pm #

      Thank you! When I was younger I actually once told a cop that I had diarrhea. She was a lady cop, who told me to cut the tears, so I looked at her and said, “I think I will crap my pants if you don’t let me go!” She thought for a second, but she let me go….

  8. evea192 May 8, 2012 at 7:44 am #

    Chips, i loved that story. As for u being pulled, not so good, lol!

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