So here it is, the day famous for resolutions. Millions of people are secretly penning their wishes to stop smoking, take more vacations, make peace in their families, clean out the clutter in the closets, lose weight, or win the lottery. Good luck to you all! I have a few resolutions of my own!
First, and foremost, my new motto is going to be “don’t look back”. I don’t mean don’t remember, don’t reflect, don’t dream of days gone by… I mean, don’t second guess yourself! When you make a decision, keep going forward and follow that path. You see, I am classic co-dependent people pleaser! In fact, I didn’t realize just how much this personality quirk was holding me back, but then a good friend of mine called me out on it by chatting this link to me one afternoon! http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-if-You-Are-Codependent Oh NO! That is me, I realized…. And just as fast as wiki could diagnose me, I was given the keys to a cure! Just a nine-step process, so that shouldn’t be too hard…. http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Being-a-People-Pleaser I’m sure if I trust in WIKIPEDIA, I’ll be a former co-dependent people pleaser in no time! This year, I’m going to put my real opinions out there, follow the path I believe in, and I’m not looking back!
Secondly, the clock is ticking pretty fast! In just a matter of days Blondie will be 17 and as every teenager does, she is counting down the days til she spreads her wings and flies away… now I know there are 6 more to go, but my journey with each of them is different and special. Blondie and I have followed a unique path, and while I know I have to do more letting go in the coming year, I am also going to do more holding on! We went on a girls only road trip a few months ago, just me and her and another mother-daughter pair we are long time friends with. It was the most amazing gift, and I pray we squeeze a few more of those in during the coming year.
Most of my resolutions are just about continuing the journey I embarked upon in 2011. Something stirred a fire in my soul this past year! I dropped a few pounds, and found myself under those layers. I am going to continue to my goal, which I hope to reach by April 9th, my birthday! Then, I am going to go sky-diving, and hopefully my niece is coming along, because I think that will be the most fantastic celebration of finally breaking through to the girl I was meant to be! Heck, maybe my mom and my sisters (who are also in the midst of some self-transformations) would want to come too… hmmm… a dream is taking shape!
Last, but never least, I am going to give thanks! You see, I consider myself to be one of the unluckiest people there are, but truthfully, I’m pretty lucky for an unlucky girl. In fact, I have so many crisis moments and unlucky instances that I considered skipping the black-eyes peas and cabbage this year. But then, I thought, what if, just WHAT IF they HAVE brought me luck and prosperity? How many times could things have been much, much worse? My dad came through an aneurysm and a broken neck. My mom came through cancer, twice! My father-in-law was barely braised by a stroke (I say barely braised because he is walking away from it, relatively unharmed, and that’s amazing.) My sister has stomped through more than a dozen surgeries, brain surgeries, this year like they were tonsillectomies! I got a text from a close friend yesterday, it said “jeez, I am going to wrap you people in bubble wrap!” Good idea, I was thinking! My kids are adjusting to our doubled family, and they have joined us in this incredible endeavor. Sure, I need a black striped referee shirt and a whistle to get through the day sometimes, but overall, we are blending! We got new washers and dryers this year (yes, the plural was intentional, we went through more than one set!) and then we conquered Mt. Stinky Laundry more than once! The yard is leveled and ready for Spring to bring new grass (and a no-parking sign)! Blondie survived her first year of driving, despite the Pepsi box and her apparent lack of knowledge that the 4-lane road her Mimi told her to get on is a “FREEWAY”! (Yes folks, HIGHWAY she knew, FREEWAY eluded her!) Our greatest blessing? We have survived two years of CPS scrutiny and managed to do all the things we had to do to finally be approved to adopt the rest of the zoo crew formally, which will bring peace and healing to our family. (We had to turn our garage into more bedrooms, replace our septic system and windows, spit shine every corner of this old house, get a ton of inspections and we finally accomplished it all.) This year, I’m ignoring the clouds and basking in the silver linings! I mean really, I have skid through every crisis thrown at me, and I’m still here, and I’m stronger than ever, so those clouds aren’t chasing me! They’re just bringing the rain to wipe away this drought… and I’m grateful for that…
Now, where are those black-eyed peas? I don’t wanna buck tradition….