Murphy’s Law


Murphy’s law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong”.

If ever I could have experienced an opposite day, well today would have been my choice. I would give anything to go back and flip every event from today into it’s opposite form. From the time I rolled out of bed, nothing went right. First, I knew I was going to be in trouble with not one, but two principals because I scheduled eye exams on the day of a very important test. The Staars test, which has come along to replace the TAKS test, is in my opinion a complete and utter failure on the part of the state of Texas. Nothing about that test is insuring that No Child Is Left Behind, but we’ll save that rant for another day.

I previously scheduled these exams for April 3rd, but the high school was desperate for my services that day and begged me to reschedule, and since I love my job, I said “sure thing” and made the call. April 24th was THE ONLY opening left before my drop dead date of April 30th, so I took it. I had no idea at that moment that the STAARS test was looming over head. Shame on me. Shame, shame, shame. But I had to get these appointments completed. I had to get all my paperwork in order. And I can’t afford to drive 6o miles on 2 separate days, so it was all or nothing. I made my promises to be back by noon so the boys could still attack their tests. In hind sight, I should have never promised that! It’s probably exactly what jinxed me.

Did I mention that before we headed on this journey I ran to pick up ADHD prescriptions that needed to be filled the day before and that is where I encountered set back number one. The doctor crossed last names of my boys.  (Another reason to get this adoption over with, streamlined family names.) I had to give the prescriptions back and head out without medicine. I know, there are many people who would never ever give their child medicine. I highly commend that school of thought. I once stuck to it like glue. Then my 3rd child turned my world upside down and all I can tell you is that I tried everything else before I went this route, but I don’t regret it. I believe sometimes its the best way to help keep your child on track. When they are unable to function in a classroom or at home, and medication completely changes that, for ME, that made the choice worth it. But enough of my sermon on medication and children, my point was that we were without the medicine we have come to rely on for peaceful manageable days.

The calmest moment we had, when he made his own pair of glasses!

It became very apparent when we got to the eye doctor that we weren’t on our A-game. Trenton was fascinated with the mirror that magnifies, so he kept staring at his ginormous head in awe. Then he ran around the room like a cyclone, banged his head on a chair cushion repeatedly, jumped on a coffee table, threw Lego’s, and that was just the first 10 minutes. He tried to spank me, and he announced that it smelled like a fart over by the old lady. The he pretended to be the Chinese Lady with a Lego hat on his head. At one point I sat almost on his lap in an effort to keep him in the chair. The he tried to start a conversation with my older son about balls, and despite the urge welling inside of me to fall out of the chair laughing, I held it in just long enough to get him to the exam room where he was excited about the idea of laser beams in his eyeballs and kept trying to dismantle the million dollar equipment I was sure they’d ask me to replace. All of this, and guess what? He no longer needs glasses! Yep, he’s outgrown them, his eye muscle has improved, and I could’ve left him in the hands of kindergarten for the day.

Somehow Tucker’s absolute declaration that he would not be getting glasses melted into a love for a green pair, that of course, our insurance did NOT cover. But hey, if  he’ll wear them, I’ll buy them. Just when I thought it was going to become simpler, I got hit with the optometrist handing me a bill for $60. “What?? Sixty Dollars! We have insurance.” I gasped!  “Oh yes, but your co-pay is $20!” I couldn’t believe it. I was standing there with an insurance card that shows a co-pay of $5. It’s supposed to be five bucks! So I dig in my wallet, and all I have is $30. And no check book, and no debit card. And I hadn’t stopped at the bank because of the shock I was trying to absorb when a mechanic “friend” of my hubby’s tried to tell me it would be $850 to fix Blondie’s car earlier that morning. In my “um no thanks, her Daddy can do it himself” fury I had neglected to drive thru the credit union.

I was standing there thinking… What to do? What to do? I know, I can fix this… I was expecting a Western Union payment today. I can run to HEB and pick it up. This won’t be a problem….

Famous                          Last                           Words………………………

I ran inside HEB but the transfer wasn’t ready. I went back outside and sat down at the picnic table to make a phone call about the transfer. I was on the phone about it when Blondie lets the boys out of car, as if I’m wanting to have a picnic lunch or something. Next thing I know, boys are rolling around fighting, Blondie is driving in circles around the parking lot, chaos in ensuing, and next thing I know my wallet is gone. Of course I go into HEB and guess what?

Yep, their security cameras face outward towards the parking lot and no where near the tables. But they welcomed me to check all the trash cans. Which I did. Truthfully, I didn’t have much money in there, but all my grocery money for the week was there. All of my cards- and I don’t do credit cards, so I am talking insurance cards, a card I have to check in and out of daycare with, id for myself and all the kids, receipts for some things I was meaning to return, my teenager version of my driver’s license, with the one picture I actually like, and this $2 bill my mom once gave me. She told me this story about an emergency $50 her dad made her keep in her wallet, and although I’ve never had a fifty, that $2 kept me from being B-R-O-K-E, broke! If I must seek a silver lining, I can say I’m glad cell phone pics have replaced the pics I used to keep in my wallet….

Worst part of all this is that it’s not the first time I have lost my wallet in some way. You would think by now I would be extremely guarded with the thing, but truth is, I try to never have it on me. That’s the only way I have figured out how not to lose it! Or get it snatched. Why can’t people be more honest? I mean, I let the man sitting at the table know his money fell out of his pocket… where’s my karmic pay backs?

So I tried my best to recover the wallet, to no avail. I drove home, was late getting back to the school,and to top it off, I never made it back to the eye doctor and I am sure that when I call them tomorrow with my tale of woe, they will not believe a word from the lady with the crazy kids who bounced the place apart in the one hour they were there!

Then in preparation for baseball practice, my son managed to break the windshield of our 1970 Maverick Grabber when he  missed a pop fly. Of course had Daddy not parked it in the front yard, like I kind of warned him about….

Best part of it all, I was so stressed, I again didn’t make it by the bank, so guess what we had for dinner?? Grilled cheese! Hey, it’s food. I was informed that it’s not dinner food, but it is fill your belly up food, so we made due. Add that to the fresh strawberries I was going to make shortcake out of and we had quite a meal! All I can do now is go to bed and hope tomorrow is a better day… And if it’s not, well, I don’t even wanna entertain that thought.

Tell me, has Murphy’s Law ever come chasing after you?


10 responses »

  1. You KNOW Murphy’s law has dogged The Hook for 15 years!
    I wish you could “reset” your day, young lady, but life doesn’t work that way.
    Good luck in the future!

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