96 Pop-Tarts later…


After returning from the rodeo Saturday it became painfully obvious that our house was depleted of quick little snacks. It has been a long day, and the peanut-butter-jelly sandwiches, buckets of popcorn, and mounds of cotton candy had worn off and every one was digging through the fridge, refusing to go to bed because they were hungry. (Who knew kids ate so many times a day??)  So there I was, at Wal-Mart, 10pm, loading up my basket with things to fill the pantry when I spotted the biggest box of pop-tarts I’ve ever seen! I don’t usually buy Pop-Tarts, first of all because they are on my list of things that are BAD BAD BAD for you (well, bad for ME) and secondly because a regular size box would be gobbled up pretty fast in this house, but this box, it was special, there were 96 pop-tarts!

So I reasoned to myself. “School’s letting out, these would be good to have around in the mornings, they’ll last all week!” Yeah, um, about that….  Yesterday I noticed there were only 4 packages left. Three days! How did 88 pop-tarts get eaten in 3 days? Note to self: Buying in Bulk is not always an advantage! This morning my little princess was pouting because she had cinnamon and she wanted strawberry. Her brother sweetly traded with her, so then she was crying that she wanted to trade back. When will I ever learn- NO CHOICES! Everything should be the same darn color, the same darn flavor. All these choices are driving me mad. “I want a pink Popsicle, I want Green, I want blue, no, purple…” URGH… Do you know how many times I have shouted “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit, because when you throw a fit, you don’t get it!” I know, cheesey rhyme, but hey- they get the point! I am so tired of refereeing arguments over who gets which Popsicle/Pop-tart/Capri Sun and this is only the first week of summer!

I guess I could look at the bright side, the kids did me a favor. Those Brown Sugar Cinnamon ones are a weakness. They keep staring at me. My hips are staring back, saying “Stay away!” We don’t need any pop-tarts in these jeans! Still, if this is any indication of the massive amounts of groceries my children plan on consuming this summer, I’m gonna need Obama to send me a bail-out. Oh wait a minute, I didn’t irresponsibly waste billions of dollars while lying through my teeth about it, so I guess I won’t qualify for a bail out!

Wouldn’t it be nice if people could act like the government does? I would love to grocery shop with some deficit spending. “Oh I know, I don’t have the money for a hundred pop-tarts, but somewhere down the line, my great great grandson will pay for them, just add it to my tab along with that 5 gallon bucket of margarita mix, aren’t margaritas a summer necessity?” Oooh, then after I feed my kids all the yummy stuff they can imagine, I could take a deficit spending vacation! Complete with souvenirs! Yes, they could all get T’shirts that say “we rode the rides with deficit dollars!”  Then we could just get one of those tickers that keeps adding up our deficit and while it spins out of control, we can just admire the big numbers and keep on rockin’! Oh yeah, that would be nice- Deficit shopping sprees, deficit remodeling, deficit designer jeans, a deficit swimming pool in the backyard! If only I could live outside my means, spend the money my grand-kids aren’t even born yet to earn, and never think twice about it, life would be so grand! I’d be sure to add a cleaning service to my expenses to take care of the never ending laundry pile!

How did our nation get to this point where we have spent the money our grand-kids’ grand-kids’ grand-kids haven’t earned yet? Why do we live in a world where no one is accountable, truthful, or responsible? Election day has me wondering why aren’t there any good people running for office anymore? That whole thing about a government of the people, for the people, by the people has been lost. The people are all on FB, they aren’t involved in government. Maybe if we could vote online? Would it be nice if our congressmen had to pay attention to our opinions on issues? We could all log in every morning, vote our opinions in various issues, and then send our congressman to speak for the majority. That was the idea wasn’t it? That a congressmen was simply there to voice the opinion of the majority? Remember that movie, Dave, where the president was in a coma and meanwhile his look alike replacement balanced the budget? Why is that a Hollywood fantasy? When did we get so lost in bureaucracy that a way out is no longer even an option?  And more importantly, where did all those Pop-tarts disappear to?

I’m cleaning rooms today, I sure hope I don’t fall into the toaster pastry black hole…


20 responses »

  1. lol! My mom use to make butter tarts and freeze them. We would go into the freezer and leave the tart tins in the container but eat the tarts themselves. She would go a week later to find an entire container filled with silver tart tins and dozens of tarts gone. Kids are eating MACHINES!

  2. On the kids eating plenty, when i was young, my breakfast normally was 8 cubes of weetbix{ the box said to only eat about 3} When i got home after school, i made myself 4 eggs with 8 slices of bread. Dinner was still coming…So, do not feel bad about them eating to much, i think it is normal.

  3. Here’s an answer to both your problems: Maybe Obama’s sneaking in at night and stealing Pop-Tarts to pay off the national debt. I hear the U.N. is particularly fond of Pop Tars (especially strawberry ones.)

  4. I have the answer to both your questions: I think Obama is sneaking into your house at night and stealing Pop-Tarts to pay off the national debt. I hear the U.N. really likes Pop-Tarts – especially strawberry ones.

  5. You’re a scream. Your life sounds so busy, I sort of don’t know how you don’t have a constant headache. A rodeo? NEVER been to one… I wonder what it’s like.

    We don’t have Pop Tarts in Oz. They sound great though!

    I LOVED the cartoon on deficit spending. Hee, so well said.

  6. There were only 48 pastries. 2 come in a pack. 48/2 is 24. There were 24 pastries per flavor. That’s 12 packs per flavor. Still only 48 pastries. But yes it can be confusing. 🙂 I understand why kids love them, but yes they are awful for us! Pure sugar and other bad stuff. Empty calories!

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