Rebels have been rebels since I don’t know when, but all she wants to do is dance! And sing, and play her guitar, and drive her Mustang, have sleep-overs constantly, play with her dog, and stay out past curfew on a Friday nights with boys, and complain every time I tell her to do the dishes, but hey, that’s what teenagers do, right?
I haven’t heard from Blondie since she pulled me out of bed at 5:30 Saturday morning! She was headed for officer camp. They were told to meet at the school at 6:30. They were encouraged to be there around 6:15 to be a little early. And of course Blondie’s car has a dead battery (somebody left their lights on and won’t admit it). So what does Blondie do? She makes me take her at 5:40. Even though the high school is a 4 minute drive, she was sure we needed to go ahead and go. I think she thought there would possibly be a line at McDonald’s for the Mocha Frappuccino she craves whenever she’s on the go before 6am, but this is a small town. There are only 3 other people up at this time of morning. The fact that they open McDonald’s just for them amazes me! By 5:46 we were in the parking lot, waiting!
So I sat there with her for nearly an hour, watching her fight off the urge to jump up and down, a ball full of excitement! I can’t believe she is starting her senior year preparations. I just know that for the next 12 months, the “Remember Whens” are gonna jump up at me every time I look at her! I can’t even pick out which one to focus on. I’m on an emotional roller coaster and the truth is, I don’t want the ride to end!
I remember her first day of kindergarten, with the little yellow bumble bee dress, sitting on her Daddy’s knee moments before we took her inside. That year LeAnn Womak scored a hit song “I hope you dance.” I used to drive around, looking at my little angels in the back seat, singing along to the radio!
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’,
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin’ out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance…
That was the perfect advice for my little ones. The other day Blondie was sitting across from me at the table, and she asked me “Mom, do you think I can make it on my own? Seriously, do you believe in me?”
Of course I do! I don’t want to admit this, but she’s gonna be just fine without us. Yeah, she’ll miss us, and she’ll come home for Mama’s cooking, but she is the most determined creature I have ever met. She’s hard-headed and stubborn and when she sets her mind to something, she does it.
Just like when it was time for her Freshman year to start, and she knew she wanted to be a Golden Girl. She hadn’t taken a dance or gymnastics class since the age of 4 when I sent her to a fancy-shmancy camp in Austin. We didn’t have a local dance studio when she was little, and to be a stay at home mom meant “no frills” so there were a few things we didn’t get to do. But she knew she wanted to make that team, so she stayed up, night after night, til she got that try-out routine down pat! She was determined, and it showed.
Of course, at her first pep rally, she couldn’t remember to keep the smile plastered on her face. And her first year she didn’t always get it down, but looking at her now, you would never guess that. When it came time for senior year try-outs, she knew she wanted to be the head officer. She’s never tried out for officer before, but she knew she wanted it, she set her mind to it, and it paid off, in a Major way! So, I don’t doubt for a second that she will work hard and pay her rent. But as we were talking, that song came to mind again. “Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance.” And I finally said to her “the only thing I think ever holds us back is when we lose sight of our faith, and I think if you can let yours become your foundation, nothing will stop you!”
It happens, we all lose sight of the importance of faith from time to time. For Blondie, losing two very special friends shook hers up a bit and I don’t often preach to her because I believe faith is sometimes a very personal journey that can’t be orchestrated just because your mom said “do this”. When I look back on my own life from a distance, I can see the places in my journey where I lost sight myself, where I got sidetracked. I envy the person who has never struggled to hold on to their faith.
I don’t think it’s always an easy thing to do- to “Let Go and Let God”, at least it’s not easy for a control freak like me! I want to be the one picking out the course, planning the journey, deciding which obstacles I will and will not face. The Big Guy let’s me know from time to time that I am only controlling as much as He allows me to control, but I feel better when I think I’m in charge! But if I know anything at all, this Senior Year business is going to teach me a lesson or two about letting go… And now that song is playing through my mind!
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
Dance….I hope you dance.
I can’t wait for football season to start, you know why?
Cuz all she wants to do is, all she wants to do is DANCE!