Today I am going to do my best to get this house cleaned up! It never does well over a weekend. Too many people, not enough square feet… but I wouldn’t trade the people so I just have to roll with the bajillion messes they leave behind. Last week one of my nephews stayed for a visit. I have 25 nieces/nephews! Isn’t that an amazing amount of kids?
I used to dream of being rich so that I could have a big fancy house and there could be one week every summer when they all came to see Aunt Tiff. Of course in this fantasy every one was potty trained and able to make their own sandwiches and we had a laundry lady. And a pool. No fantasy is complete without a pool. Somehow I never did quite make it to the big fancy house, or the week full of nieces and nephews, but a lot of them spend time with me.
So last week it was 8 kids in this house, and 8 kids on their very best behavior can be a bit much sometimes, so imagine 8 kids who aren’t all sunshine and roses all the time! It can get CrAzY! Friday I decided to take them to the movies. Can we just say EPIC FAIL?
First off, Dyl Pickles picked the new Adam Sandler comedy “That’s My Boy!” I know, the Rated R should have been my clue, but I have seen many Rated R Adam Sandler movies, and they were nothing like this. I was really disappointed because typically Sandler shows witty intelligence in his sarcasm, but all he did in this movie is scream a lot and talk about wieners. I can take a joke, I can take a dirty joke, but come on now, at least make it somewhat intelligent! I could get over the ginourmous stripper with glittery stars on her nipples, but all the wieners sticking out were just a bit much. And the hook-up with a senior citizen, Dylan is OFFICIALLY BANNED from picking out any movies that entail watching with the family! I mean I was sitting next to my dad for this movie. Can you say AWKWARD?? By the way, Vanilla Ice still drives the 5.0, in case you’ve been wondering!
Earlier that morning I had dropped my cat off at the vet to be fixed. I was going to write an entire blog about how Bob Barker would be so proud of me. When I googled the Price is Right to see what year it had gone on the air, (1974) I found the most ironic coincidence. June 15, 2007 was the last episode with Bob, and June 15th was my cat’s trip to the vet. I had a few clever antidotes to share about how I grew up on the Price is Right, waiting for my chance to someday “come on down” because I had developed the perfect Showcase Showdown bidding formula. It worked in my living room 99% of the time. But I ran out of time to blog it all, so I “saved to draft”.
Then there was lunch at Dairy Queen, (not just any Dairy Queen, but I’ll save that story for tomorrow) and the trip to the mall and then on the way home I got a phone call from my mom. She was in a panic over lost keys, and I had to get to the auto parts store to pick up my part to fix my AC. Funny how blogging about my predicament in the hot car fixed the problem! I wanted to kick some major booty when I found out that the part I needed was $200. That’s it. I mean, that is a lot of money, but not so much that in a year’s time we couldn’t have come up with it! I’ve been wearing my hair in pig tails to keep the sweat out of it, and all I needed to fix it was $200?? Had I known this, I could have had a garage sale or worked extra days, or rented out one of my kids and fixed it. My hubby seriously made me think we were leaning towards $1,000 to get her going again. He never said that, he just said “expensive” in a way that scared the bejeebers out of me.
We got home and Dyl Pickles redeemed himself from his choice in movies by helping get the Beast up and running again! With ICE COLD AC. I got the kids fed, the floors mopped (which by the way didn’t last 30 minutes) and went to finish my blog about Bob Barker before my sister arrived from Oklahoma and LO and Behold….
OH MY GOSH!! I cannot believe what I’ve done. I forgot the cat. I left her at the VET! I called the vet, he was closed but left a few after hours numbers. Called both of them, but they were animal hospitals in other towns. I tried to reach him at home, I think I even facebooked his daughter in a total panic. I had to wait until the next morning to go pick her up. I felt so bad. Apparently something in my voice portrayed my complete and total distress because when I got there on Saturday to get her, “boarding fees” were not added to my bill.
Well, Bob, wherever you are today, I hope you know I have done my part to help control the pet population. For nearly 30 years I listened to you holler out “Suzy Q, Come on down, your the next contestant on the Price is Right! I imagined myself bidding on that Brand New Bread Machine just hoping to get off bidders row. I watched them play Plank-O, Pocket Change, Now and Then, More or Less, Secret X, Triple Play, Hole in One, Hi-Lo, Half Off, Let ‘Em Roll, Line ‘Em Up, Pick a Pair, Poker Game, Joker, Magic, Make Your Mark and It’s in the Bag. I never got a chance to test out my Showcase Showdown Strategy, but every time I heard you remind us to have our pets spayed or neutered, I knew in my heart of hearts that I was only moments away from an hour of the Young and The Restless, so those words were forever burned into the back of my mind as something important!
And now, The Prestridge Zoo is in total compliance with your wishes. No more stinky adorable puppies to chew up my new shoes. No more cute cuddly can-we-keep-them kittens to sharpen their claws on my couch. No more Rated R Adam Sandler movies to bring AWKWARD moments to a whole new level. And no more chances to hear Bob say “Tiffany, come on down, you’re the next contestant.” Because even if it was my destiny to hear it shouted “It’s a brand new car!” I just can’t play with Drew. It’s just not the same…