Funny how a picture can keep a story alive! Yesterday when I was finishing up the blog that was supposed to be a music memory but ended up a bad Monday tangent, I threw a few old pictures into a little collage and BAM! The funniest story came back to me. If my life were a newspaper, the heading that day would have been “Two Year Old Steals Harley, Mother Chases Him Naked”!!
I know I’ve said this before, but my son literally started driving things as soon as he mustered up enough balance to walk. When he was still crawling, he would hear his Daddy’s truck coming down the street and he would take off for the back door. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear I live with Sanford and Son, with their collection of old rust buckets on the side of our house, but my son has been building his 65 Chevy Truck since he was 11 years old. He put it together, he got it running, and I think he will truly have it road-ready by the time he gets a license. He’s got 3 years…. (at this rate he will beat Daddy, who has been working on one for 11 years!)
From the day his grandmother sent him his first Monster Truck, if it could go, he was on it, and he was going! And like father like son, he has always known that girls will flock to the boy with a cool set of wheels.
I expected that he would be a holy terror tearing up the roads. But I never thought he’d steal a Harley! When Dylan was 2, our neighbors across the street had a 3 year-old son. He was the proud owner of a Harley Davidson Power Wheel, and every time I turned around my little monster was trying to find his way across the street to get on it.
One day, he was sound asleep in my bed taking a nap, and I thought “what a perfect chance to wash my hair!” I know the Moms of the world can all relate to this, sometimes raising kids is so labor intensive that you pass by the mirror and say “Holy crap, I haven’t washed my hair since __________” and then you struggle to fill in the blank! Am I right?
When my oldest kids were little I was so paranoid that something bad would happen if I took my eyes off them for a second, but he was sound asleep, in my room. Surely I could squeeze in a quick shower? I remember as I was rinsing the conditioner out of my hair I got this sick feeling in my stomach, so I leaned out of the curtain to look at my baby.
The covers were tossed on the floor. “Dylan….Dilly….” I called for him, but he didn’t answer, and I couldn’t see him. I jumped out of the shower, threw on a half robe that was more like a bathing suit cover up, and went looking through the house.
Terror struck me when I saw the back door was WIDE OPEN! How did that happen? I didn’t know he could undo the lock yet!! OMG, did someone steal my baby? I ran out the door, barefooted, towel barely wrapped around my soaking wet hair, panic setting in! He wasn’t on the swing set. He wasn’t on his four-wheeler. I was about to dial 9-1-1 when I decided to just make sure he hadn’t gone across the street and just as I got down the driveway I could see my baby turning onto another road on that gosh darned Harley!
Of course I went running after him. I knew right where he was headed- Grandma’s house was 4 blocks away. I was petrified that any minute a car would come barreling his way without seeing him. I’m running down the street, hollering for him to turn back and look at me, somewhere I lost the towel that was on my head, holding the robe together wasn’t go too well either, and I can only be thankful it was the middle of the week and there weren’t many people home to see this spectacle unfold.
Finally a block and a half later, I caught him, got him turned around to go put it up. He was all giggles and smiles, like “what’s wrong with you lady? I was only going to my granny’s house!” My heart was still pounding when we got back inside. I remember my hands shaking when I was trying to put some pants on.
Later that night, my hubby said “your hair sure looks nice, what did you do to it?”
“I washed it, but don’t get too excited, I’m not planning on making that a habit!” LOL
Days like that are what taught me the Golden Rule of being a mom: Always expect the unexpected. Blondie always says to me “Mom, you think of the craziest scenarios” but you have to think of every possibility when you’re raising kids. I’d forgotten about the years when I was afraid to go wash my hair, which just goes to prove, in the land of parenting, things go by fast. Take a thousand pictures, take ten thousand pictures, because I guarantee you will wish you had something to remind you of that time you were running down the street naked to save your baby! (I’m just glad no one had YouTube or cell phone cameras to capture me in action that day! This simple recollection will do…)
Now quit sitting in front of that computer wishing there was a YouTube link of a naked lady chasing her kid down the street and tell me, what’s the one thing that has happened to you that you’re so glad no one has a picture of??