If you weren’t around when I blogged about the Playdate Lady, you’re just gonna have to go back and read those posts because it would be way too much to try and catch you up. Go ahead, go read them, I’ll wait….
Ok, now that you caught up, or refreshed your memory, let me tell you, SHE’S BACK!
The last time I saw her was in August when she brought her son to my son’s birthday party. In the name of birthday fun, I didn’t mind that she was there. And I didn’t even complain that she brought all her kids, the more the merrier. But I did learn that I had grossly misjudged her. I thought she was like the ultimate goody-goody nerd. Remember, she never allows violent video games, or rock music to taint her life! She asked my advice on which church to join, and how to get involved in the community. So even though I didn’t particularly want to be friends with her, I kept thinking it was just my own rudeness holding back a friendship.
Turns out, once again, my instincts were spot on. She spent her time at the birthday party telling me about the fact that she was having an affair, and she had left her husband and the man left his wife and the affair had become a relationship. Wow, she’s not a goody-goody after all. Then she spends the entire night sitting on my couch, despite the fact that I refused to make eye-contact, that I ignored most of her conversation, she still hung around until her new boyfriend managed to drag her and her kids out at nearly 9pm. Now, to add to this drama, her new boyfriend has been a long time friend of ours, so that was AWKWARD to say the least.
Did I mention she had the nerve to ask if I wanted to babysit? I’d spent the day getting together a birthday party for my son, while taking care of 7 kids, baking the cake, making all the food, and cleaning the house again and again, and she thought I wanted to babysit? How about someone babysit for me instead??!! Oh wait, I don’t leave my kids with people I barely know….
But that was August, and school started, and I forgot all about her. Even though I receive a text from time to time that says “miss you” or “sorry I haven’t been around”. I’m baffled by her interest in pursuing this friendship, especially when I never even return a text. On parent-teacher conference day, I was sitting outside the school, waiting for my next conference time, and I was on the phone with my best friend, so I have a witness that I didn’t speak to this lady. She came up to me, again apologized for being too busy to visit lately, and then proceeded to tell me she is pregnant by her new beau. I ignored her, she sat down. I finished my conversation in the most leisurely manner I could muster, trying my best to not get off the phone, hoping that if I kept looking down she’d just go away, but she sat so long eventually my friend had to get back to work.
So I hung up the phone, and looked at her and she started again to talk about the new baby, and all I could say was “have either of you even filed for divorce? It’s pretty sticky legally to get divorced when you’re pregnant.” Then I walked on to my conference, leaving her to ponder my statement.
Two days ago she called again, and asked if I had possibly been the one to let the wife know she was pregnant. What? No! Why would I want in this drama when I don’t even want any friends? So I told her: “I don’t talk to the wife, just like I don’t talk to you,” and then what did she say next? “I was wondering if you would tutor my kid in math?”
Listen, I have 7 kids that need my help every night with homework. As much as I would actually love to help a child who is struggling in school (because my passion for education is a big part of me) there is no way I can squeeze another child into my day. So I respond “unless you are able to do something to lighten my load with the kids I have, I don’t know how I could make time, I’d have to put my kids in daycare to free up a minute.” I thought I was letting her down nicely, until she said, “let me know when you figure it out.”
The audacity of this lady was on my last nerve. I am a people-pleaser, and it’s a curse. I’ve spent my entire life trying to help others, make others happy, accommodate every one else, but I am finally WORN OUT. I am tired. I work hard all the time and whether I’m at work, or at home, my job never slows down. And I have finally reached a point where I’m not looking to take on anyone else I would feel the urge to please. I’d rather be alone.
But this lady just keeps coming back for more, and I couldn’t imagine why. My sister made a bet that she was some kind of scary strange swinger stalker, but I thought “surely not!”
Well, guess what? Indeed, that is her goal! Last night, she texted my husband to see if he knew of any females who were into girl on girl action to try with her new boyfriend. Seemingly she wondered if we were swingers! She has now officially crossed the last line I had. Thanks Lady, for reminding me exactly why I don’t have time to make new friends. I’ll just keep the old.