Save the Last Dance for Me!

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It’s been a long time since I’ve shared a “Monday Music Moment”. I really thought I was going to have so much more time this year for writing down all the magical moments, but it’s going so fast, I hope I am at least getting them all committed to my memory!

Last week was most definitely the hardest moment of my life as a mother. We hit that boiling point as mom vs. teenage daughter that all my friends have assured me is perfectly normal. She said some things, I said some things, it wasn’t pretty and at the end of it, we had to do a little redefining. But there was this one moment where I knew, without a doubt, that we were gonna survive it. She sent me a message that said “Mom, I don’t wanna mess up our relationship, you’re my best friend.”

I know, Moms aren’t supposed to be friends, but a mother-daugther relationship has a special element of friendship that just grows along with the daughter. The older she gets, the more you become that person she confides in, the person she takes her stories to, and more than anything in this world I didn’t wanna lose that either.

It just so happened that all of the drama occurred at the beginning of what was to be a very busy week. It was her last trip to contest as a “Golden Girl”. Her first year on the dance team, she wanted me to chaperone the trip, but knowing she might need to bond with the girls more, I told her that I would be sure to be the chaperone her senior year. At the time, it seemed like forever would pass before my turn would come, but it flew by and Friday we loaded the buses for a trip to San Antonio.

We had a lot of fun. She had a few blonde moments, like when I asked how she could walk in her extra high heels. She said “Mom, I can multi-task!” I said “how is walking in heels multi-tasking?” She said “duh, walking AND talking!” She was complete serious too! We got to do a little fancy dining, some shopping, and then a whole lot of waiting. At a dance competition like that, you sit a few hours for every 4 minutes you get to see your daughter perform! We got there around 7am and we were there til 9 that night, and she performed about 5 times, but it was worth every second.

Luckily there were some good moms to visit with, because my booty was sore from spending most of the day in that blue plastic chair. We had a few laughs when I noticed that our front row seats gave us an up close and personal view of many girls who forgot to shave their armpits (not our team, of course). Someone should add that to the dancer’s checklist they always have before contest.

Tights, check.
Jazz shoes, check.

Costumes, check.
Music, check.
Armpits, SHAVED!

I didn’t cry all day long, but once they settled in for the awards ceremony, I felt the “it’s the last time…” emotions starting to crank up. As the Major of the team, she was the one who got to jump up and accept their trophies. Every time she stood up, I felt a lump in my throat. And then it happened, the last trophy was awarded. The gym floor was covered with screaming teenage girls. I made my way to her team, just as the seniors broke into tears, hugging each other, crying together, and that’s when it hit me, she really is going to be gone soon and all these little power struggles we have right now will seem so ridiculous.

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I’m glad I picked her senior year to go with her on that trip. I think I will treasure those moments for many decades to come. She’s no longer the freshman who forgot to smile at her first pep rally! She was the leader of the pack, and every day I am amazed at the beautiful young lady she is. This week we learned some really important lessons. We had to forgive one another, we had to accept each other’s imperfections, we had to negotiate a new way of doing things, but at the end of the biggest fire storm we ever faced together, we still had each other.

On the bus ride home, for a moment, she put her fingers in my hair like she always did when she was a little girl. I sat there thinking that I gotta keep working on letting go more, but all I wanted to do was hold on to her, forever!

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9 responses »

  1. I love your daughter’s idea of multi-tasking! That is awesome! Glad the competition went well. My mom is my best friend, too, so I completely understand the dynamics and the delicate balance of mother/daughter relationships. Being a mom of only boys, I sometimes feel as if I am missing out on it. 😦

    • There’s definitely something special about a daughter, but I can tell you this, boys are a whole lot less dramatic! And they tend to treat their mom’s like gold. Maybe you’ll get a grand-daughter and she’ll be extra special!!

  2. This is so sweet! My son is a senior this year just starting his final high school baseball season. Last night I was sitting at the Winter sports banquet (he doesn’t play a Winter sport, my other son does.) I was listening to the stuff the coaches were saying about the senior basketball players and I got teary-eyed just thinking about how teary-eyed I will be in the Spring! Don’t you just cherish those special moments! This was a great story!

  3. As the male parent of two daughters, I can say with conviction that the relationship and sharing which they have with their mother is at a higher plane and a joy and blessing to behold. I remain a provider while the mother is a sharer. Is this aspect generally true?

    What is it really that brings about this kind of relationship only with the Mom and not with the Dad?

    Shakti

    • I’m not sure what the difference is, maybe just that bond of “woman to woman”. I notice that my boys seem to be able to have a closer “friendship” with Dad while I remain the Mom- ‘do your homework, clean your room’. Maybe its something to do with the battle of the sexes… ??

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