So life has gotten pretty busy here in the zoo. Sometimes I fall asleep writing a blog in my mind. IF I actually got all my ideas to my computer, I think the founder of WordPress himself would call me up and tell me “no more bandwidth for you!” Sadly, I don’t actually write all of the things that pop into my head. But I do text myself some of my ideas, just in case the illusive “spare time” creeps up on me!
Summers are manic for me. The kids are all home all day, which means they eat a lot more. I have to run to the store more because we’re forever running out of milk and cereal, and then they spill that cereal on their pants and her we go! I’m doing another load of laundry. I saw this picture on Facebook today, and I thought to myself, in this house, the choice is ALWAYS “RUN”!
Oh what I would give for my laundry room to look like that!! I’m on the search for a commercial sized triple load washer and dryer. I go to bed dreaming that if I could somehow upgrade to that, my life would become exponentially more enjoyable. What happened to my dreams of making out with “Zach” on Saved by the Bell? Now, I dream of appliances. I never knew my life would head in that direction!
Speaking of direction, I think I finally found some! This house isn’t going in “Better Homes and Gardens” any time in this decade. I started telling myself “in ten years, this house will sparkle again!” Meanwhile, I’ll settle for keeping up with the wash. I think the biggest difference really is just to stop thinking about what everyone else must think.
I’ve spent half my life going to bed every night with these conversations in my head. If someone was mad or disappointed in me or thought I didn’t call them enough or that my grass needed mowing, I couldn’t sleep. In my mind I was hashing things out, trying my best to get every person in my world to see it my way. Lucky me, I finally realized that no one else has to understand. My world doesn’t make sense. So be it.
I was obsessed with trying to explain myself because I’ve always worked hard to be empathetic. If you told me your grandfather died, I would go to that wound in my heart and feel your pain as best I could. If you told me you were getting divorced, well I’ve never been down that road, but I would dig deep to another great loss in my life, and understand your hurt again. I have done that so much, all my life, that I really wanted the people around me to do the same thing, but I guess that’s a really hard expectation.
I took this college course that focused a lot on critical thinking, and when it said very few people ever reach the stage of empathy, it all made more sense. I sat back and giggled at myself. “I’m just enlightened, and they’re not!” That works for me! I can’t keep trying to explain myself. I just have to keep my little zoo going. Yes, we have too many kids and too many pets and too many messes, but we have more laughs, more memories making, and more reasons to keep on going.
What we don’t have is toast! This morning, I got up and I was going to surprise the kids with some cinnamon toast. I got out a loaf of bread, the butter, and the what did I discover? Yep, we’re out of sugar! So I thought “Wait a minute, we’ll have FRENCH TOAST” and I grabbed a carton of eggs from the refrigerator. Before I cracked one I checked, and sure enough, we don’t have any SYRUP! Those little hoodlums have eaten up anything sweet they could find.
So much for making breakfast, here kids, have some Frosted Flakes! Again! There’s no toast today!
Hey, I did manage a new blog post… Now tell me, when does school start back????