Big Family, Big Problems


So I’m ten days late with the whole resolutions thing, but here we go. This year I’m going to become skinny and rich. Oh wait, I’ve tried that one for the past twenty years. Maybe I should go for something a little more attainable. How bout this year, I’m going to write 250 blogs!

I think I have a lot of unused material floating around. For example, last week I overheard my 7 year old son Jordan talking to his 6 year old sister. He said “KK you need to take a bath. It looks like you’re developing a problem.”

“I don’t have a problem! She pouted with carefully pronounced objections. He replied “You look like one of those ladies that grows a beard.”

“It’s chocolate milk!!” She exclaimed, as if he was a complete idiot for not knowing the difference between a milk mustache and a bearded lady, but without missing a beat he said “I know, but it looks more like you have a problem.”

Off to the bath tub she went, without a single word from me. Her desire to eradicate any appearance of a bearded lady on her face reassures me that one day these kids won’t be quite so stinky.

You can watch all the reality TV in the world, but don’t be fooled by the Duggars and the Bates and all the other “we’re a big family so put us on TV” shows. Life with a lot of kids is not hunky dory all the time.

The truth is, little kids usually smell like dirt. They sneak the dogs onto the furniture and no matter how many times you threaten to get rid of those dogs, you end up Febreezing the sofa 19 times a day instead.

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Little boys eat their weight in cereal every three days, effectively using a third of the household income on Fruity Pebbles. If you ever ask them to turn down the radio for a millisecond, they will pout and make comments about how you no longer love music the way you used to do.

If you are blending families for any reason, the challenges will never end. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a new marriage or adoption, every time you think you’ve got it down pat, it will all fall apart. Kids are masters at manipulating the circumstances in a way that will have you swallowing guilty feelings so intense 4 different therapists will give up on you.

I’ve spent the last five years literally putting out the fires. When I started blogging, I was hoping to use writing as my way of finding the silver linings in every situation. (OK, I also thought I’d probably become famous, my blog would blow up the internet, and corporate sponsors would line up to sponsor our family with every thing from new appliances to free pizzas.) The truth is, sometimes the silver is tarnished. Sometimes there’s nothing pretty to look at. But there is always the promise of a new day. So instead of saving up the forty two feelings I’ve dug through and the thirty seven memories I’ve been trying to hold on to, I think I will do my best to just get something down. Even if it’s not a perfect entry, this year, I’m just gonna tell it like it is.

Welcome to the Zoo. It’s fun, exciting, and absolutely exhausting, but if you really come in and take a look around, you’ll wanna come back, I’m sure!

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2 responses »

  1. I’m sure the chaos can be overwhelming, but to me it sounds amazing! I’m an only child, so I missed out on the dog fart sofas and sticky little kids and endless cereal. Hang in there! I’m enjoying reading your story. Also Happy New Year!

  2. Pingback: A Few Gigs and a Fire | Life With Blondie

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