I had this goal of writing 250 blogs this year- it’s mid-April and I’m on #17… I might need to crank it up if I’m gonna hit that goal. I was determined to write shorter, punchier pieces, but every single time I sit down with one thing to say, my mind wanders all over the place. I’ve been so introspective all my life, always reminiscing and analyzing; I think I drive myself crazy with the “what might have been’s” running through my brain.
When I try to go to sleep, there’s always a person in my head- someone I have something I want or need to say to, and I have these long conversations with them. If only those conversations really happened! If I’m not dreaming up a heart-to-heart, I’m making a to-do list. I’m planning the next day or contemplating my three wishes.
Do you have that list? The three wishes list? Mine is full of neatly crafted compound sentences. I’m pretty clever with my ‘squeeze-two-requests-into-one-wish’ statements! I’ve outgrown the dream of being mega-rich, but I do envision having this enchanted wallet that has $5,000 in it. Every time I open it and take out the $5,000, it magically replenishes itself. I spend that $5,000 over and over. I buy myself an industrial washer and dryer that converts my 40 loads of laundry a week into just ten. I go to Lowe’s and buy every flower I’ve ever wanted to plant in my yard. I get a new dishwasher, new grass, and the built-in microwave (it’s the missing piece of my kitchen renovation)! I replace all the interior-doors in our house. I repaint everything. I turn the closets into perfectly organized masterpieces. I take my kids to the mall and everyone gets a brand new pair of NIKEs, complete with their own personal check-marks. I pay off bills for my parents and in-laws and the few people I consider to be my friends- that’s my favorite part of the magical wallet, picking random people and making their day.
Of course, I keep thinking about all this and never fall asleep. That’s why I have to turn on the TV. I don’t really watch TV in the day, but at night, I need something to drown out my brain. My imagination just keeps going and going and going. Lately I’ve been recording Little House on the Prairie on my DVR. I thought for sure my husband would laugh his booty off when he caught me watching it- turns out that the Little House books were the only books he ever really loved. They play it three times a day, so we have plenty of episodes to watch when I can’t find something good on TV, which is most of the time!
Ever noticed that we have access to 500 channels and we still can’t find anything to watch?! I used to look at the guide, and there would be so many things I wanted to see, so I just kept adding channel after channel to my package. One day I realized I was spending almost $200 a month on CABLE! I went years without cable. I’ve preached “you don’t NEED cable”, and here I was spending that much!! Sure, they snuck in some rate increases and since they’re the only company to offer high speed internet in my neighborhood, competition isn’t driving Suddenlink, but when the reality of that bill slapped me in the face, I called them up and starting cutting my services to a more manageable package.
I hate the way movie channels play the same movies over and over on some kind of month rotation. For an entire month all you see is this one movie. I can do without that, right?! So I ditched the HBO. I’ve been fine without it. I’ve really appreciated getting back my $15.99 + tax, (which makes it more like forty bucks). Then in my late night channel surfing, I was almost tempted to return to HBO. The guide was teasing me with movies I wanted to watch, things I haven’t seen! New releases! I felt the urge to call Suddenlink and get my movie channels back!
Just then, like a sign from up above, my screen looked like this, and I tweeted a pic of the digital clarity they brag about in all their commercials!
I got a few chuckles out of that, but more importantly I reminded myself that HBO is not a necessity. My husband demanded they come out and fix that scrambled signal that plagues us, but I’m thinking I’m better off with the Picasso screen. It helps me avoid the temptation of HBO. Why do I want to call them, give them more money, just to be complaining next week when I’ve finally seen those 4 movies they keep playing? I know right now it seems like all the good shows are on the channels I don’t have, but I can get through this!
When I first got cable, $40 got all the basic stuff, and if I was willing to kick in another $20 I had the deluxe package! Now if you’re not careful the cable bill looks almost like the car payment! I am feeding 5 hungry boys and the girls are not exactly dainty eaters so I better keep my money and stick to Little House. I was a four-year-old when that show was new, and even though I remember watching it over and over again, I’d forgotten that Nellie outgrew being a bully when she fell in love with a little short Jewish man. I forgot she had twins and named them Benny and Jenny. I forgot about the fire that took Mary’s baby. I forgot that Albert was a bastard child found in the streets of the big city. Oh how I miss wholesome TV!
I started at the beginning of the episodes, now I’m up to the days when Laura and Almonzo are married! The best part- my little ones crawl up on my bed and watch it with me. They don’t even know that we’re missing “Tammy” and “Game of Thrones” on HBO! So, I guess it’s a NO!
I’m sure we’ll survive, I mean, we’ve still got the Netflix….
******** #17 *********