Sunday I had all sorts of grand plans in my head. I wanted to go to church, then drive 30 miles to visit my mother on her first Mother’s Day as a widow. I wanted to spend a few hours with her, and then go up the highway another 40 miles to see my step-mom and spread around some Mother’s Day cheer to two of the most important ladies in my life. All I managed of that plan was the part about going to church. When I got home someone said they got bit by a flea on the couch.
That’s when I went a bit psychotic. I went to the EVIL EMPIRE (Wal-mart) and spent $100 on flea sprays and dog treatments and cleaning supplies and stripped this house to the bone and poisoned every four-legged creature that walks through the doors. I spent hours trying to frantically make sure we didn’t have fleas while barbequing hamburgers. In fact, I stayed up all night walking the house with a flashlight to try and catch bugs who survived my rampage. I can rest assured that we don’t have fleas, but I couldn’t rest knowing I missed both my moms on Mother’s Day. I told myself maybe the thought counts, maybe they knew I wanted to see them both.
I did manage a surprise for my mother-in-law and for my Blondie! My daughter, a mother, how could that be?? Don’t let me start on that, I’ll be typing all day!
Lately I’ve been kind of inspired by my step-mom. She’s always baking pies for her neighbors or working in their yards. She invites them for dinner or delivers leftovers. She really does make a village out of her neighborhood and we could all take a lesson from that. Her neighbors are like one big family, complete with a few nut-balls.
The other night Blondie’s house was burglarized. My husband got home around 1am with her beau, and he went to the house to get a phone charger. Luckily I still had the baby with me. My phone rang, it was Curt. He said “I think someone’s in the house!” Then I heard him say “Who the **** are you?!” and then BAM! ……. SILENCE!!
My husband grabbed a gun and ran across the backyard to their house. I dialed 911. I was shocked. I explained to the operator that an intruder was still there, but she didn’t get the urgency. We live in this odd place where the city limits end, so we have to wait for the county to send the sheriff. Oddly, the city has pulled me over on my street for a traffic citation, so I don’t really understand why they couldn’t rush over here when I said “there’s an intruder!” but far be it from me to point out the deficiencies in the logistics around here.
When my husband got over there, he thought our son-in-law was dead. He was knocked out on the living room floor with blood rushing out of his head. I know his heart just dropped. Then he saw the intruder running from the scene. For a moment he considered firing the gun, but he couldn’t bring himself to shoot someone. I can’t even imagine trying to make that decision.
It was the scariest moment we’ve ever had in this neighborhood. I have lived in this same house for 16 years. No one dares to come into my yard. OK, so maybe the zoo has something to do with that. I wouldn’t rob someone with 6 dogs either. In fact a few weeks ago a man called me. He said he was installing security systems in my neighborhood and he wanted to know if I wanted to be on his list. I said “I have a security system already.”
“May I ask what kind,” he inquired.
“I have a Hercules!”
Truthfully Hercules is a big giant baby. You’re more likely to get nipped by the little wienie dog, but he looks scary and he barks loud and I’m pretty sure if you messed with one of his kids, you wouldn’t live to tell about it. I guess that’s why I keep him around even though he digs holes in my back yard.
I think I’m gonna send Lacy to sleep at Blondie’s house from now on. It was her dog to begin with anyway, but that’s another story. After the break-in, I was surprised that so many of my neighbors stepped forward to say “this happened to you, well it happened to us too!” Not because their houses were broken into, but because they want to join us in taking back this neighborhood. One kid selling dope isn’t going to ruin this quiet little spot.
Maybe there’s a chance we could end up like my dad’s neighborhood. One big family- heck, I’m even willing to be the nut-ball if necessary.
***** #20 *****