Sock ‘Em


Why can’t someone invent disposable socks? I mean they would have to be both cost effective and sweat-sturdy. Oh great, this idea goes completely against my environmental reuse-recycle-repurpose philosophy, but then so do paper plates and I can’t lie, I use them ALMOST EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I’m sorry, when you have a family this big, sometimes shortcuts make all the difference. I do not have time to wash 15 plates every night and I cannot keep up with matching the socks. I’ve tried. Really, I have. I’ve tried pinning them together in the dirty clothes. I’ve tried matching them after every load. I’ve tried keeping all the socks to the side and just doing one load of sock laundry and I’m still stuck without a practical solution. The problem is me honestly.

I thought my OCD was cured around kid number three, because he was OCD. He made his bed every morning and if someone touched a pillow before the end of the day, he’d notice. He wouldn’t just notice, he’d notice it, point it out, point it out a little louder, take everything off the bed, re-make it, then carefully unmake it to crawl under the covers and go to sleep. He had me beat. I just made Blondie carefully separate her toys into categories. The Barbies were never naked, NOT EVER. The play-dough had a box, and the toy dishes had a box, and the coloring books had a shelf. Dyl Pickles had a box of firetrucks, and a box of dump trucks, and a box of trains, and a table for the legos. Every little thing had a place despite my pack-rat tendencies. It was highly organized madness. Add in four more kids, and the ability to keep the dishes separate from the play-dough fell apart completely and I became someone else. I became that mad-scientist looking lady with a three-day-old bun on top of my head trying desperately to just find a place for anything. I had to learn to accept towels that aren’t perfectly folded in thirds and closets that aren’t separated by color but the one thing I just can’t make peace with is UNMATCHED SOCKS.

Nothing makes me crazier than a sock that doesn’t have a match. (I’m having deja vu. Maybe I’ve blogged about socks before. Oh wait, according to Google, it’s a recurring theme.)

I hate the socks they make nowadays that purposely don’t have a match.

mismatched socksI can’t buy them unless I buy two packages so that each one will have a match. Blondie used to share my sock issues. When she was little toe-seams were her nemesis. I found this one brand of seamless socks and they were the only socks she would wear, but then she became a teenager and she’d just throw any two socks on her feet. She didn’t care what they looked like, if they matched each other, if they matched her clothes, she’d just pick two random socks and put them on. Then I was left with this basket of unmatchable socks. Then her little brothers started to follow suit. Now what happens is they grab two socks that don’t match, they put them on and walk outside- meanwhile I’m yelling “don’t go outside in your socks!” Then they ruin these unmatched socks on the concrete, and I find socks full of holes and throw them away. Now I’m stuck, because I don’t know where the matches are. Are they in the next load of laundry? Did the washer eat them? Are they in the sock basket? Are they the ones I tossed out last week? Is the dryer holding them hostage?

I have no idea WHY this dilemma has to drive me so insane but if I ever really win the powerball or the lottery, I promise you I am going to buy new socks every week. At least until my kids grow up. I’m pretty sure when I’m a little old lady living here with just my hubby and my pink hair, I will be able to keep up with matching socks. Until then, maybe I should go on SharkTank and see if I can get the disposable sock industry started… Can you see Mr. Wonderful sporting white disposable socks under his $2,000 suits? Come on Sharks, someone send me an offer!

Surely there are others who feel my pain and never want to fold socks again! Tell me I’m not the only one going insane in the sock basket….

laundry room.jpg

Maybe Kenny Rogers was talking about socks, what do you think?
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