It’s been quite a week here in the zoo! Partly because today is my birthday, and I’ve been celebrating all week long. I often get the birthday blues because I shared my birthday with my grandfather for 27 years. Losing him still stings like a swarm of bees straight to the heart.
My life is chaotic. I spend half my time hoping he’s up there watching me, and the other half praying he didn’t see that… you know the moments- the ones where the house is gross and the kids are grosser, or when I forget to hold my tongue, the days when I accomplish nothing. How many times do I say to myself: “If Softy were here, he’d know what I should do…”?
Dang it, I wasn’t going to cry this year, I really wasn’t… but he was just so special to me. I was trying to picture him yesterday- good looking middle-aged man, celebrating his 40th birthday in Hawaii, not terribly excited about becoming a grandfather. We changed each other in so many ways. I wasn’t supposed to be here until mid-May, but somehow I made my way into this world on his 40th birthday. That one little coincidence made him my birthday buddy forever. Now that I’m a grandma, I’d like to think “first grandkid” made one helluva birthday gift!
I kind of love that my mom always tells me the story of the day I was born… it was the one time she left dishes in the sink for a quick check-up. Oh Mom! I’ve left so many dishes in the sink! SHAME ON ME!!
Add it to the list of epic fails I have under my belt! This week has been full of them!
The first fail of the week happened on Tuesday when Jayden didn’t have his baseball shirt. After destroying the entire house, he remembered that he wore it to his aunt’s house to spend the night. He went to the baseball field in an oddball shirt, and he didn’t get to play. On one hand, I felt bad that they didn’t just let him be the goofy kid in the wrong shirt, but then again, next time I say “put up your uniform RIGHT NOW,” he might take me a little more seriously. We have a rule- baseball shirts, football jerseys, cheerleading outfits, cleats, gloves, pants– THEY NEVER GO ANYWHERE BUT THE GAME! We don’t wear them to people’s houses or play outside in them or even throw them in with the regular laundry. Now Jayden understands why- because they will get lost!
Fail #2: Wednesday my husband finally put a new water spicket in the front yard- three years late! For some reason, when he turned our water back on, two of our faucets bit the dust! Thursday when they weren’t fixed, I took the kids out to eat! The threat of racking up a week of restaurant tabs got my husband in fix-the-faucet-fast mode!
Finally, Friday! I think I’m in the clear, but I had to decide that I should turn 40 in a sparkling clean house.
See, I wanted to throw myself a big party. I have free access to live music, so I wanted to make a bonfire, have my friends over, and celebrate big. Turning 40 means I’m a grown-up now, right? I’m the age my grandfather was when I came into this world. 40 means I’ve officially spent half my life with my husband. I’ve lost 88 pounds this year, and even though I’m not where I wanted to be, I’m a lot further than where I started… So I wanted to gather everyone and share some laughs. The closer it got, the more I thought “nobody wants to come over here!”
This house is full of kids. And dogs. And messes. The couch has gone missing. Eventually I ditched my party plans and just settled for little celebrations. Then I thought “at least I could spiff up the place! I’ll wake up 40 in paradise!”
So I loaded the mountain of laundry into the car, and decided to multi-task. I was changing over 15 washer fulls between trips to the baseball field. Two games, 3 players, and Mt. Stinky Clothes. Long-story-short: 1 player was hit by a stomach ache. The laundry mat was full of interesting people. Most of them were mad that I hogged the washers. (Hey, the place was empty when I first walked in.) Nine o’clock rolled around, I went to load the clothes in the car, and it was locked- with the keys in it (fail #3). Player #3 was still at the ballfield (fail #4)!
Turns out, even without a party to show it, I have some amazing friends. The hubby and my Dyl Pickles were in Austin at a car-show, so it was Randy to the rescue! My husband has a few good friends that I know I can call whenever I can’t find him. One of life’s little blessings…
By the time I made it home with the clean clothes there was a coach in my driveway dropping off Player #3. I was embarrassed, but he just smiled and waved and said “it happens!” So I ordered pizza, folded clothes, and spent the last moments of my thirties reflecting.
I’ve come a long way this year. I have a lot further to go in this life. Sometimes it gets really hard, but I started and ended my week in a special way. Monday I went on a drive with my dad and step-mom and we bought junk and looked at flowers and we ate coconut cream pie at the famous Bluebonnet Cafe. On Friday, I went for a drive and bought faucets and more flowers and sat with my Mom and we ate apple pie a la mode with hot brandy sauce at the famous Texan Cafe.I don’t need a party, I had two pieces of pie!