Category Archives: Life Reflections

Can I Brag?

Can I Brag?

I know it’s not cool to boast, but every once in a while it’s ok to be proud of ourselves. Today, I’m feeling like I finally accomplished a dream of mine.

When I was a kid, I was a straight A student. I was a band and debate team nerd. I dreamed of going to college and having an incredible career. My step-dad used to joke that I was going to be a professional student because I excelled in school. I think he imagined me getting degree after degree until I had myself a PhD.

I even thought about going Ivy League. I had the grades. But I didn’t have the money I needed and if I’m being brutally honest with myself, I didn’t have the determination to make my dreams a reality.

The 19 year old me was burned out. I was so tired of trying to be the perfect student and the perfect daughter and the perfect sister and the perfect friend that I beat myself up way too much anytime I made a mistake. Read the rest of this entry


So Wonderful

So Wonderful

My youngest daughter is almost 10 years old. Today she was helping my grandbaby with her morning routine. I listened as KK assisted Presley with washing her hair and brushing her teeth, and then the amazing part happened.

KK let Presley pick out her best Easter dress to wear for the day. Just a regular day. And why not?

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If You Were Here


If you were still here, we’d certainly have plans today.

You’d be 82 now, so I would drive to you and we’d probably eat Mexican food. And you would make jokes about your health and I’d laugh while secretly hoping things aren’t getting too serious in that department.

You’d listen to me ramble on about the kids and when I listed my failures and insecurities, you’d point out my strengths and successes.

The day would go by way too fast and I would choke back the tears when it came time to drive away, if you were here today.

Some people remember you on Father’s day because you were an amazing Dad and grandpa. Others remember you during the holidays because of the soothing way you always read the Christmas story from the Bible. Some people love to think of you at Halloween because of the amazing haunted house you used to create. But me, I think of you on April the 9th.

I wasn’t supposed to be born until May, but I know exactly WHY God brought me early. I was meant to be born on your birthday.

And we shared 27 wonderful birthdays before you went on… But if I’m being honest, you didn’t go away. You’re still here. And I still think of you all the time. And even though I can’t reach out and touch you, I can feel you all around.

I’m so torn between the laughter and the tears, but I know you’d challenge me to laugh. So maybe I’ll have a sopapilla in the name of Birthday Buddies and I’ll tell myself what you would say if you were sitting there across from me today.

Happy birthday Softy. Our day is the one gift I’ll hold forever.

An Early Arrival

An Early Arrival

I’m not sure if there’s anything more special than a Christmas baby. I’ll never forget the first year I spent Christmas with a baby in my arms. Suddenly, every story I’d ever known took on a whole new meaning.

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Take A Stand


When summer comes creeping towards the end, one thing is inevitably on my mind. FOOTBALL. Yes, in this house, I’m the football fanatic and my husband could care less who’s playing where or when. He watches the Superbowl for the commercials and that’s about it.

Lately, I’m reminded of why I prefer youth football to the real thing. I’d rather sit in hard bleachers under the blazing sun than deal with the over inflated egos of the NFL. At least when I watch my boys play, I see kids way too respectful to take a knee.

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On a Tuesday…

On a Tuesday…

Funny, I just realized I didn’t blog this summer. Technically, that’s not true. I blogged- professionally. I didn’t blog personally. Every summer I swear I’m going to chronicle the lazy days of  swimming holes and picnic lunches, but as it turns out, those days aren’t so lazy. When you have a family this size, summertime is a logistical nightmare. There, I’ve said it.

I love summer vacation. I love being home with my kids. But I’m not going to lie, I finally understand those moms who do the happy dance on the first day of school. I used to give those moms dirty looks- and now, I’m the leader of the pack.

I thought for sure I’d catch up my blogging the first day of school, but nope. My football star broke his arm in two places and required surgery to fix it.

broken arm

A few metal rods later, I guess we can say Tucker never does anything half-ass. That kid puts 100% effort into everything. Read the rest of this entry

It’s Just A Car, Baby Girl


Do you ever have those moments where something your parents said rings out in a moment you’re having with your children? Well, it happens to me. I find myself sounding like my mom or my dad and thinking “how did I let this happen?”

This week, two separate instances reminded me of one of the scariest moments of my teenage life.

CutlassI was driving to my step-dad’s company picnic in the Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme recently passed down to me.

My little sister was in the car with me.

We spotted a young mother, walking with a baby on her hip. It was so hot outside.  If I remember correctly, she was pulling another young child by the hand and she had a gallon of milk. She just looked over-whelmed. Read the rest of this entry

It’s My Birthday Too!

It’s My Birthday Too!

Dear Softy,

You’ve been gone for 13 years now… and I still think of you every single day. But especially on our day. On our day, I sing the Beatles and miss you like crazy.

I’m afraid I don’t sing it quite the same way, but hey, I sing it to you!

Most years I cry. But the tears aren’t as awful as they used to be. The hole is still deep in my heart, but I’ve learned to smile when I miss you.

I wish I had more pictures of us together. I wish I had more pictures of you. There are never enough memories when you cross my mind.

Last year was probably the worst year of my life. I hope nothing ever tops it. I was scared most days. I thought any moment everything was going to implode. I worried about my daughters. I worried about my sons. I worried about my marriage. And I worried about the strain our troubles were taking on the entire family. I could feel the sorrow every time I talked with my mom or my dad and it just made my heart ache.

So many times I thought about you. I just know you would of had the perfect words of wisdom to get me through the rock bottom of my existence.

There were days when I tried to channel your voice and give myself a pep talk.

The other night I had this dream. You will still here. My step-dad too. And I was talking to both of you. And I was listening to you tell me you’d been here each day. You were telling me all about the things I’d been through, just to prove you were never far away. I woke up feeling your presence. In fact, I was calling your name out loud.

Sometimes I get those dreams and I see you and I don’t even want to get out of bed because I don’t want to lose that moment. But I have to get up. These kids will knock the walls down if I’m not watching carefully.

You know 40 started off rough, but it sure did turn around. I’m finally finishing college. I know, it took me a few decades. That’s ok. The more amazing thing is that I’m a writer. A real bonafide cash-the-check writer!

And my kids are doing amazing things. Blondie got married and her dreams are slowly coming true. My Dyl Pickle is graduating. And the rest of the crew is moving right along. Tucker is going to high school. I always wish you had seen him just once. I still think of you in the hospital that last night I saw you. You said “wee Willy Tucker, that silly little f—–fellow.” He was born 41 days after you passed on. I’m not sure how my dad came up with the exact same sentence, but he did. Isn’t that ironic?

Trenton is headed to Junior High which will make the twins the rulers of intermediate school- big fifth graders! And KK is only one step behind, but you know all this, because you’re still here. I know you’re here.

When I feel like breaking down, I say to myself “Girl get yourself together. Softy is gonna see you fall apart” and that’s how I pick myself up when the days are overwhelming.

41 is going to be amazing, I just know it is. Whether I’m conquering the world wide web or tucking my grandbaby into bed, I know you’re part of me and I never let that go.

Birthday Buddies

My grandfather and I at our last birthday dinner

And now when I think of our birthday, I smile more than I cry. You were the greatest gift the good Lord ever gave me. Grandfathers have a way of making the world magical, and you did exactly that.

So Happy Birthday Softy. I still miss you, but today I’m gonna try not to cry, because it’s my birthday too!

Love always,
Tiffany XoXoX

Impossible To Beat


Valentine’s Day really isn’t my favorite holiday, but I’ve said that before.  It just never lives up to those movie-made expectations. I’m always left feeling sort-of bah-humbug. But this year I didn’t have a bad Valentine’s Day…

I didn’t sit around and write 65 cards for my kids to pass out. I sort of hate that tradition because I know where those cards end up. I also didn’t spend 19 hours perfecting the most amazing Pinterest cupcakes ever. Because I also know exactly where those cupcakes wind up. Instead the ZooCrew requested “Fruit Rollup Valentine’s”… AHHHH! The best of both worlds! A cool valentine + a snack for the party rolled into one! I’m loving the Type B personality that has taken over my life. Simple AND impressive: that’s how I roll! (OK, that’s how I’m learning to roll. Better?)

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Ready or Not, Here We Go


I’m not sure if I’m going to sit down and make any iron clad resolutions this year. Instead I think I will vow to count my blessings every single day. This past year I really learned how to let go and let God. I’ve been at the bottom of the barrel with the cutoff notices in my hand and no idea how I was going to manage them and instead of freaking out I folded my hands together and at every turn He provided for my every need. It takes a lot for a control freak to give into blind faith and trust that everything will be ok, but I’ve lived in this house 17 years and so far we’ve always had food and lights and clothes and gasoline in the car so if I’ve had to swallow some lumps, that’s ok, it was all part of the journey.

20141209_083117I know 2017 is going to bring a lot of new changes. In just a few short months my first born son will graduate high school and move on to new things. This house will change. I won’t have my Mr. FixIt all the time. And when he goes, Hercules will go with him, and I’m gonna miss his big sad eyes riding shotgun every morning. Read the rest of this entry