I know it’s not cool to boast, but every once in a while it’s ok to be proud of ourselves. Today, I’m feeling like I finally accomplished a dream of mine.
When I was a kid, I was a straight A student. I was a band and debate team nerd. I dreamed of going to college and having an incredible career. My step-dad used to joke that I was going to be a professional student because I excelled in school. I think he imagined me getting degree after degree until I had myself a PhD.
I even thought about going Ivy League. I had the grades. But I didn’t have the money I needed and if I’m being brutally honest with myself, I didn’t have the determination to make my dreams a reality.
The 19 year old me was burned out. I was so tired of trying to be the perfect student and the perfect daughter and the perfect sister and the perfect friend that I beat myself up way too much anytime I made a mistake. Read the rest of this entry
Last night my nearly 17 year old son was sitting at my desk, scrolling through Facebook. I was sitting back staring at this kid, like I usually do. I keep asking myself “how did I make that big strong guy?” His birthday is just about a week away, so I’m drunk on nostalgia every time I look over at him.
He caught me staring and I could tell he was about to do it. He was about to make me cry. He does it on purpose. Every time he catches me giving him that “you’ve grown up too fast” look, he says “just think Mom, this is my last year of being a kid… then I’m gonna grow up and move away. I’ll probably travel. Maybe Alaska. Read the rest of this entry
This morning I went to my son’s fourth grade Christmas play and then I stopped by my daughter’s house to say hello when my little grand-daughter did the cutest thing in the world. She just started walking and she was being a little cranky so I said “Does Presley want to go shopping with Grandma?” (I still don’t think I want Grandma to be my name…) Read the rest of this entry
Isn’t it funny how the things we once dreaded become the things we look forward to, and the things we once looked forward to become the things we dread?
For example, when I was 10 years old we lived with my grandparents for a short time. I remember getting all dressed up for church on Sunday mornings, and then we would come home, have lunch, and BOOM! It was NAPTIME! I couldn’t believe my mother went along with this enforced rest period my grandmother insisted on. My sisters and I would’ve to go to the Game Room and lay down on the sofa bed. Even if it lost the metal bar that hit us all mid-back and became the world’s most comfortable bed, I think I would’ve still laid there awake, full of fidgety energy, complaining about the fact that I was clearly too old for a nap. Now, I sometimes look up at the clock- 2:30 in the afternoon- I tell myself “if you close your eyes right now, you can squeeze in an hour before the bell” and I force myself to take a little nap before school ends. Read the rest of this entry
Things are pretty tough in the Zoo right now. I’m having to spend big chunks of time separated from my husband and manage the bulk of the household on my own. Meanwhile, he is scrambling to cover the financial side of this partnership, and he’s under a huge amount of strain. There’s nothing like sleeping all alone to give you hours upon hours of reflection.
The other night I was flipping through the channels. When I can’t sleep I like to find an old movie, one I know by heart, and turn it on. I can close my eyes, listen to the dialogue, and picture the movie in my mind. This helps me turn off the constant questioning that buzzes on in my brain. “Do I have enough in the bank to cover the cell phone bill? When is the last day to pay the cable? Are we out of fruit snacks? Did Trenton show me his reading log? Did Jayden find his shoes? Did we feed the turtles today? How hard could it be to tape and float sheetrock?”….. It goes on and on, so if I can find a movie, one I already know, I can usually go to sleep. Read the rest of this entry
It’s amazing just how many topics are examined in just one morning here in the zoo. Tucker brought to me a stack of papers I needed to sign for his “Worth the Wait” program. “Worth the Wait” is an abstinence based sex-ed curriculum our school district adheres to. As I was cutting off the bottom portion of the pages, signing the chapters, I was glancing at them to make sure I have truly discussed these topics with him. Read the rest of this entry
Sunday I had all sorts of grand plans in my head. I wanted to go to church, then drive 30 miles to visit my mother on her first Mother’s Day as a widow. I wanted to spend a few hours with her, and then go up the highway another 40 miles to see my step-mom and spread around some Mother’s Day cheer to two of the most important ladies in my life. All I managed of that plan was the part about going to church. When I got home someone said they got bit by a flea on the couch.
That’s when I went a bit psychotic. Read the rest of this entry
The day after Thanksgiving I sent my son to our shop to fetch the Christmas boxes. He came home empty handed, bearing bad news. The main pole that holds up our 8 foot Christmas tree was bent, badly bent. I don’t know that I’ve ever faced a December as bleak as this one has started out. News of the broken tree seemed to be icing on the cake.
I love Christmas. It’s my favorite time of the year. I love the decorations and the lights and the spirit floating around. I love the parades and Santa Claus and the chance to grant my children a wish or two. I love Christmas. Read the rest of this entry
Nothing goes right in our house, even when the best intentions are put forth. The other day I had one of those dreadful doctor appointments and I came home exhausted. One of my little twins brightened the mood right up when he showed me his new love for scrubbing pots and pans! I think it was the new pair of gloves hanging over the sink that drew him in, but I’m happy to share the latex if someone else is gonna wash a few dishes!
As soon as news spread that someone made Mommy super proud, the urge to help out was like wild fire burning through the zoo. Next thing I knew the dishwasher was loaded and a basket of laundry was brought in and I even heard someone say “what can I do to help you Mommy?”
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This week we celebrated a few big milestones. Wednesday was our first “adopt-iversary”, and it doesn’t seem like a year has gone by since we signed our adoption papers, but the calendar doesn’t lie. In our house, being adopted is a happy thing, and I think I’m gonna always try to mark the occasion, kind of like a birthday, because it was the birth of a new family. I find it sort of ironic that we adopted the day before our wedding anniversary, so Thursday we celebrated another year together, which is what started this family in the first place! And to think, it all happened in the Wal-Mart parking lot…
(click here if you wanna know how I got a husband at Wal-Mart)
Sometimes I joke that I’m still on my first marriage, but truth is, I’m pretty sure I’m on my last one too… I think in every good marriage there are days when you wake up and say to yourself “Is this really the person I’ve chosen to spend my forever with?” Especially when the man next to you just made some loud grumbly noises under the sheets, but then something always happens that makes you realize “yes, yes it is the person I choose!” And that right there is the key to it all… you have to continue to choose your life together. You can’t live off a promise from the past unless you renew those promises day after day. Read the rest of this entry