I know you’ve been the one to go to school
every day most of the days for the past 13 years, and you’re the one who passed all the tests and finished the classes, but this graduation isn’t just about you. It’s about a journey, a journey between the two of us.
You see, my life is sort of divided between the years before you and the years since. You, my sweet son, changed who I am.
I was a wife and a step-mom before you were born. And I like to think my mothering was pretty good. BUT YOU brought out my MAMA BEAR.
The first moment I saw you, the majesty of the heavens paled in comparison to this miracle I made. Oh yeah, Daddy made you too, but that’s a different story.
I stared at you for hours thinking “holy crap, you were inside of me!” The bigger you grew, the more that amazed me. All the sudden one day I looked up at this young man who was taller than both his parents and I said to myself “that was my tiny little Dyl Pickle” and I looked at my hand and remembered how you once sat so small in my cradled arm. Read the rest of this entry
So much has been going on in this zoo of mine. My son is 17 days away from graduation. It’s been quite a ride with that kid. He’s an amazing young man. He’s smart. But the classroom hasn’t been his forte. He’s bored in there. He’d rather build something. I think he’s put together 5 cars since school started.
He drug home one little S-10 truck and put a V8 in it. If you’re not a car person, let’s just say tiny truck + big motor = FAST & LOUD. I’m excited to see what Dylan’s gonna do with his life. I’m proud of the man he’s become. He might not turn in his geometry, but if you’re fishing at the river and you get stuck in the mud, I guarantee he’ll be right there with his truck and a chain to save the day.
I don’t think it’s really sinking in just yet. 17 days and that little bitty baby will be done with the biggest chunk of childhood and I’ll have to give up my efforts to micro-manage him once and for all. Read the rest of this entry
I’m not sure if I’m going to sit down and make any iron clad resolutions this year. Instead I think I will vow to count my blessings every single day. This past year I really learned how to let go and let God. I’ve been at the bottom of the barrel with the cutoff notices in my hand and no idea how I was going to manage them and instead of freaking out I folded my hands together and at every turn He provided for my every need. It takes a lot for a control freak to give into blind faith and trust that everything will be ok, but I’ve lived in this house 17 years and so far we’ve always had food and lights and clothes and gasoline in the car so if I’ve had to swallow some lumps, that’s ok, it was all part of the journey.
I know 2017 is going to bring a lot of new changes. In just a few short months my first born son will graduate high school and move on to new things. This house will change. I won’t have my Mr. FixIt all the time. And when he goes, Hercules will go with him, and I’m gonna miss his big sad eyes riding shotgun every morning. Read the rest of this entry
Yesterday I took most of my crew to my niece’s graduation. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve said they grow up too fast I could almost afford to feed this crew! All the way to the graduation I warned them that we have to be quiet and still- that’s a bit of a challenge for these kids. I expected to have to repeat myself at least 3 times. We had only been seated a few minutes when someone was pulling on my sleeve.
“Mom, mom, moooooooom?!” I glared over at my little Diva, who promptly tattled “They’re talking!” I looked past her at 3 silent brothers, and lowered my eyebrows quizzically. “Not them, THEM!” She pointed behind us at a group of people who seemed to have a case of the giggles. The kind of giggles that might be happening on “That 70s Show”… Read the rest of this entry
It’s pretty hard to believe that it was already a whole year since my Blondie walked across that field, and said goodbye to high school and threw her cap in the air, but what’s even crazier is that last night, I went to my 20 year reunion! Twenty years!! How did that happen?
I guess Blondie is never too old to sit in Daddy’s lap!
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I spent a small fortune on the Brag Ad for my daughter’s Senior Yearbook. I just found out she won’t get it until early next year! When I was in school we got our yearbooks the last week of school so everyone could sign them. I’m glad they want to include prom and graduation, but I wish they did it differently. We always just got a little “addition” that stuck in the back of the yearbook the following year. I wonder why they’ve ditched that idea?
So, since she won’t get to see it in print until long after her cap and gown day, I thought I’d start my week off with a little bragging for my super star, who just entered her last week of high school…
This picture was supposed to be my Wordless Wednesday post for the week, but with only two weeks until school lets out, I guess I’m running a little behind. So I forgot to post my picture about mailing out the big announcements. Not only am I getting ready for her graduation, and remodeling our house, but we also had the lovely fortune of flooding our house!
Yep, I put on a load of laundry, headed out to take the kids to school, and came back to a nightmare. I must have been gone about an hour or so, and when I arrived home I could hear water running. At first I was certain that kids left the sink on, but when that didn’t pan out, I headed to the laundry room. I stepped down into that part of our house, and suddenly my ankles were under water. I couldn’t believe it! Read the rest of this entry
So I’m on the road to graduating, again. I don’t k now why it’s taken me 6 years to finish college, but hey, better late than never, right?! Actually I do know why it has taken me so long. It’s a crazy mix of chaos and the inability to do anything for myself. All my life I have felt utterly guilty anytime I was focused on something for me.
From the moment I could hold a pencil, I have loved to write. It’s been my way of dealing with every heartbreak, every challenge, and every moment of joy in my life. I started with this little red diary that I wrote in when I was seven years old. Sometimes I go back to that little book and check on the little girl who rambled on those pages and the one thing that sticks out at me still is the fact that at seven years old, I dreamed of going to college.
I was a pretty smart kid. So smart I was bored. I thought for sure college would challenge me with new ideas. I was a pretty good student, in fact if I said how many colleges were interested in having me, it would sound like a fisherman’s tale, but I could have made many choices. I have to believe God’s plan for me was somewhere in the choices I made. Read the rest of this entry
I’ve been off for the past three days. I was done working a week before the kids finished school. I had a goal, one very simple goal. I was going to get all the laundry done. Finished. Completed. Finito. Washed, folded and put away. That should be easy, but in a house with 9 people, well, it’s just not.
It never fails, I do all the laundry, someone pulls out all their clean clothes, leaves them on the floor or the bed, and viola! A lovely little dog sleeps on them and they are dirty again. Or they spill a gallon of sweet tea and use all the clean bathroom towels to clean it up. Blah!! I’ve been working so much lately, and so busy with all the boys in baseball and the girls with the girl stuff, well, I haven’t been on top of the laundry situation. I steady do 3 or 4 loads a day, but I had this stack of blankets, stuffed animals, pillows, etc that were it the “not urgent but must be washed eventually” pile and I was determined.
Monday, I managed 14 loads! From 6am until 8pm I steady washed, dried, folded. I could see the corner of the laundry room again. Tuesday, round two! I got 10 loads done while managing appointments and errands! I was feeling encouraged. Wednesday, the last regular day of school, Wednesday brought a few challenges!
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I still can’t believe
you ended it that way.
You warned me,
But I foolishly thought
I could save you
from the darkness
that became your fate.
I saw your smile
The same blue eyes,
Sun kissed freckles.
But I prayed
His heart does not carry
Those same burdens of pain
that took you away.
He looked at me,
And I remembered
The last time I saw you smile,
The last time I smiled back…
It’s not really my normal style of poetry. I like perfectly paired little verses with rhyme schemes and matching syncopation. But last week, I was working at the junior high (which isn’t my normal beat) and as I stood in the gym taking roll, I found myself face to face with the little brother of a boy I will never forget. I couldn’t choke back the words, I had to type them into my phone while I sat there thinking about him. I had seen him at school assemblies and field days many times, but the first time I really met Justin he was in junior high, patiently waiting for his Tiger spirit hoodie, and I was the PTO president delivering it to him, two weeks after everyone else already had theirs. A little mix-up on my part had caused the delay, so I fully expected to deal with an irritated pre-teen, but instead I got a boy full of smiles, thrilled to meet me after school, not a single complaint. I liked him instantly.
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