Hey Yu

18 Apr

Dear Yu,

I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but to be honest, I thought we had moved past them. I thought we were through the bad times. I didn’t expect perfection, I didn’t think every single day would run smoothly, but I thought for sure, we’d hit all the major road blocks.

Have I been perfect? No… I know, I let feet crawl all over you. Sometimes I left papers scattered everywhere. Once in a while you had to deal with a child who peed their pants, but what about all the good things I’ve done? Continue reading

Welcome to the World

16 Apr

The other day was my birthday…. and I’ll tell you, I’m officially 38 years old! I hear a lady doesn’t tell her age, but I’m proud to be this old. When I turn 40, there will be no black balloons, no tombstones, no sad faces… Sure, I’d love to go back to the 15 year old figure I once sported that lacked gray hair or fine lines, but where’s the character in that?  I earned every single one of these gray hairs, including the three I plucked out last week.

Getting older doesn’t bother me, but another year without my birthday buddy, that makes me sad. This year, instead of the flood of tears, I tried to hear his jokes in everything I said or did. It kind of helped. OK, there were still some tears. I believe some people touch our lives so deeply and there is no real recovery from that loss. The hole never heals, you just learn to function with a gaping wound in your heart. My grandfather was that man.

Our last dinner at Loma Linda's

Our last dinner at Loma Linda’s

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Let’s Go Fly a Kite

3 Apr

An old friend stopped by today. I used to babysit his kids when they were little. Now they’re all big, almost done with high school, and he actually said “I remember looking at this and wondering how I was gonna do it, and now, it’s done!” Yes my friend, it’s done. For you anyway, I still have a few more to go. It had me thinking again, about life and how fast it changes. Continue reading

Just Hang in There

22 Feb

     Just hang in there. It’s what I tell my daughter when she calls from Tennessee, and she misses me. She misses the  noise of her little brothers and her little sister’s dirty clothes on the floor and the barking of too many dogs and the loud boom of her Daddy’s voice and complaining that there’s nothing good to eat and all the chaos that lives in our little zoo. But no matter what she says on days like that, I say “Just hang in there!”

Honestly, I think I’m saying it to myself too. Times are tough. I don’t care if you’re Republican or Democrat or Tea Party or Indepent or a Purple People Eater, the world seems to be falling apart and some of us are barely keeping our heads above water.

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Be mine ♡♡

17 Feb

     There was only one Valentine’s Day I have ever truly loved. I was 23 years old. I had been on bed-rest for 7 weeks. Ask any pregnant lady on bed-rest and they will tell you,  those weeks are multiplied like dog years!
Continue reading

Cupcakes Instead

9 Feb

Nothing goes right in our house, even when the best intentions are put forth. The other day I had one of those dreadful doctor appointments and I came home exhausted. One of my little twins brightened the mood right up when he showed me his new love for scrubbing pots and pans! I think it was the new pair of gloves hanging over the sink that drew him in, but I’m happy to share the latex if someone else is gonna wash a few dishes!

As soon as news spread that someone made Mommy super proud, the urge to help out was like wild fire burning through the zoo. Next thing I knew the dishwasher was loaded and a basket of laundry was brought in and I even heard someone say “what can I do to help you Mommy?”

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Another Year Gone….

31 Jan

This is the blog I started on last Saturday, but as life in the zoo would have it, I’m just now getting to post it! Things are getting pretty crazy around here…

Maybe I should be calling my blog “Life WithOUT Blondie” because she’s fourteen hours away, but at this very moment I am logged in to http://www.honkytonkschool.net like I do every chance I get. It’s a lot of fun being able to stalk your teenage daughter via webcam! Especially on her birthday…

Today she’s 19 years old! Wow. Another year gone! The past few weeks I spent making her a piece of art for her apartment. Now, don’t get too excited, it’s not for sale. I’m sure it would beckon millions on EBay and my financial woes would finally be over, but this was a special gift just for her!

It started out as something kind of like this:

Is there a Picasso of gourd painters?

Is there a Picasso of gourd painters?

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The first tears…

10 Jan

I haven’t cried since my Blondie left home. I’ve been too busy being excited for her. First I was busy making phone calls and helping her find places to go, apartments to see, people to talk to. Then I was busy packing her room. Then I was busy renting a U-haul. Then I was busy loading up the big ugly van complete with one three-legged dog.

The Big Ugly Van survived another trip across the country. It's not pretty, but sure is Built FORD tough!

The Big Ugly Van survived another trip cross-country. It’s not pretty, but sure is Built FORD tough!

Then I was busy driving her things to Nashville. Continue reading

Resolutions Refused!

1 Jan

Last night the hubby did invite me out to a little party, and I’m sure it would have been fun, but I wasn’t up for any fun. I’ve spent the past the past two weeks being sick or taking care of sick kids and last night, all I wanted to do to ring in the new year was close my eyes and go to sleep.

There have been a lot of changes around here lately. Blondie started her new journey and I started a new assignment at work. It’s temporary, but it’s kept me very busy for the past few weeks. I’ve never loved a job as much as I am loving this one. I am teaching one student in an alternative classroom setting, and it’s been both really challenging and really rewarding. The more this kid opens up to me, the more inspired I am to reach out to him. He has shown me so clearly the path that my children could have ended up on had I not adopted them. He is so intelligent, and every time I see him reach a goal, I am inspired to come home and work harder with my own kids. It’s even made me wonder what it would be like to home school my kids, but I’m not ready to go that crazy just yet. Continue reading

Bonus Dad

31 Dec

A few weeks ago, I stole my step-sister’s phrase for “step-mom” and blogged about how wonderful my bonus mom has been to me. It was the 31st anniversary of her wedding to my father, and it seemed only fitting to count the many blessings she has brought to my life. I figured I would have written several posts between that day and today, but as life would have it, things in this zoo got a little crazy. I’ll tell you about all those detours later, because I was saving today for a post about the other unsung hero in my life.

See, step parents just don’t get enough credit. No matter how hard they try, they pretty much get stuck in the shadows. Today, my mom and step-dad are celebrating 26 years of marriage, and I think it’s only fair to remember the many good things he brought into my life. I was slow to let my step-mom into my heart because I didn’t want her taking my dad’s attention away from me. On the flip side, I was slow to accept my step-dad because I didn’t want him to take my dad’s place. The reality is that they were both two people who tried to love and accept three little girls from a different marriage, and in their own way, they both helped us all move forward. Continue reading